Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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