she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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