plz talk dirty to me
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
