What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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