WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
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I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
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does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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