my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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