I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
