It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
