but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
