i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
