Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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