I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
