hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
