best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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