ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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