Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
