I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
