Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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