Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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