ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
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I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
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Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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