He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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