Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize