See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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