Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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