It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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