drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
His nipple licking is glorious
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