I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
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if we break up, who will get the dealer?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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