Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
