Non-Jews are for practice
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
