You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
