You really coming over, don't trick.
Screwed.edu
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
