i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
