If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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