I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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