I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
