But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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