I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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