Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I have post one night stand depression
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