like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
there is glitter all over my balls
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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