I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
