Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
