I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
