sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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