Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
