I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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