The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize