Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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