well I can't set my house on fire every night
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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