he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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