I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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