Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
