can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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