we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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