I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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