Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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