I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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