the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
