You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize