I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
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you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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