Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
