thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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